Strategic Parenting Plan

I have been in strategic planning mode for work.  The African American Studies program is in the process of proposing a major and doing other (hopefully!) exciting things and that has necessitated a writing out a deliberate plan of action.  Apparently I talk about this strategic plan a lot because here is a conversation Brian and I had this morning after dropping children off at school.  But first the back story:

Last night, after being asked repeatedly if she'd done all her homework, Frances decided at 8:00, her school night bed time, that she had to redraw a picture of Abraham Lincoln.  She had drawn Lincoln at Gettysburg (complete with RIP headstones in the background as he delivered his speech), but decided she wanted to draw him getting shot at Ford's Theater (she ultimately drew a picture of John Wilkes Booth with a gun in his outstretched hand chasing Lincoln across the theater).  She spent an hour whining and groaning in her room because she couldn't get the picture right and she was tired and just wanted to go to sleep.  I was deeply annoyed.  And then this morning she informs us at 6:45, when none of us are dressed or fed, that she wants to get to school by 7:30.  She normally gets to school at 7:45 and with advanced notice can get to school at 7:30, but of course there was no advanced notice and so she got to school at 7:45.  She grumped away from the car, letting her pout indicate her extreme disappointment in my parenting. 

And Cate decided to wear flip flops to school today (because you need to wear open toed shoes with dresses), despite the fact that the new rule at her school is no open toed shoes on the playground.  A huge fight ensued, with Cate insisting that she couldn't possibly where sneakers with a pretty dress and ending with flip flops on her feet and sneakers in my hand. And remember that this is happening while Frances is pacing up and down upset because she wants to get to school at 7:30.  When we got to Cate's school her teacher saw the sneakers in my hand and said it was great that Cate would have an extra pair of shoes to change in to when she played outside.  Very happily Cate replied, "Yeah! That's a great plan!"

It was a challenging parent morning.  And so here's the conversation:

Brian:  I'm going to email you and schedule an appointment.

Conseula:  For sex?  Why are you always talking about sex?

Brian: No not for sex.  We need to write a strategic plan.

Conseula: A strategic plan for what?

Brian: A strategic parenting plan.  The mission will be "preventing Consie from strangling children through a deliberate program of equitable co-parenting."

Thankfully for all of us Brian continues to stick around.