Monday, July 13, 2009

I Want My !@#$% Fruit Roll-Up

This morning, Cate woke us up at 7am to request a fruit-roll up. We told her she couldn't have one and should have some real breakfast instead. She insisted, we resisted, until finally she banged her little fists on the bed and yelled, "I want a fucking fruit roll-up." We immediately sent her to her room for a time out and to think about why you shouldn't use bad language; and when she was gone, Brian gave me the "You know, this is all your fault" look.

It's probably true. Frances is a bit of a puritan when it comes to cursing and other bad habits, so she never repeats the myriad curses that come out of my mouth. but Cate--cate loves to curse, almost as much as I do. And I do love it. Actually "love" doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how much I enjoy saying "fuck" in any and all situations. It's one of the most satisfying things I do, actually.

But clearly, we can't have Cate telling her pre-school teacher, "I want my fucking fingerpaints," so something needs to be done. But as I've given up sleeping in, buying new shoes whenever I want, vacations alone with my husband, Saturday mornings spent reading (instead of watching soccer games and playing ponies), it seems really wrong that I should give up the pleasures of a good curse word.

6 comments:

Mary-LUE said...

I am FALLING over (well, not really) laughing at this. Priceless, absolutely priceless!

claire said...

Our people get nickels when I curse -- but sometimes traffic (my curse producer) is so bad that there are not enough nickels in the car. It is satisfyuing and you should not have to give it up. Is it so bad to have things that you just get to do because you are an adult -- unfair -- maybe, but that is why it is better to be an adult than a kid.

Claudia said...

**GASP!** How awesomely bold and blasphemous of you to post this!!!! Do you think she knows the difference between what Mommy says in private vs. what's appropriate in public?

PPR_Scribe said...

LingMAO @ your little one! "I want my effing fingerpaints," indeed!

In our house we call this language "TV words," and increasingly "radio words." They also recognize that there are times when Mommy and Daddy (and grammas and grampas and friends' parents and....) sometimes also use these words--*but that is no excuse for them using them.*

Really, they are capable of making the distinction.

Ernest Brevard Jr said...

You should just sit Cate down and tell her that she can't repeat everything that mommy's says.
Secondly, what black person sends their child to time-out! The Bible states, to spare the rod and spoil the child. Think about it.

~Ernest Jr

jake, rebecca, lilly, and charlie kidder said...

My friend sent me a link to your page and I can't thank you enough for being so honest. Admirable. And freaking hysterical. That post totally made my day...and then my child screamed at me to go away and that she doesn't like me. For the tenth time.